But one foot wrong And I'm gonna fall Somebody gets it Somebody gets it

All the lights are on. But I'm in the dark. Who's gonna find me, Who's gonna find me.

Just one foot wrong. You'll have to love me, When I'm gone.

I've just realized how depressing it is to see the people you used to be best friends with having so much fun without you and with your bully. I haven't cried once this year, but that made me want to. But I don't want to be weak.

They say bottling up your emotions is the worst thing you can do, because eventually will just explode, i guess. That's why I'm writing this.

Does anyone see this? Lucky me, I guess I'm the chosen one. Color and madness. First in line I put my money down. Some freedom. Is the tiniest cell in town.

I guess things like this have to happen. Maybe it'll make me stronger. Maybe it'll make me weaker. Everything HAS to happen for a reason, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. Because they meant so much to me, it still hurts. Thats why I have trouble trusting people. Because I'm scared. I'm scared they'll walk away, leaving me broken. Thats why I love my few friends who I KNOW will ALWAYS be there. But for a while, I was stupid and I shut them out. For that I apologize.

Some people find the beauty in all of this. I go straight to the dark side of the abyss. If it's it bad, Is it always my fault? Did somebody bring me down? Did somebody bring me down? Did somebody bring me down?

I have regrets, I've made mistakes, but I'm still not sure what I did to deserve this. I know in my last blog I said I was going to stop wondering, but, I'm going to every now and then still wonder. I simply can't help that.

One foot wrong I'm gonna fall Put one foot wrong And I'm gonna fall But one foot wrong And I'm gonna fall Somebody gets it Just one foot wrong And I'm gonna fall Somebody gets it

I sometimes think it's all just a dream, a nightmare, but I know it's not. It's not that simple, for me to just wake up and it to all be over. No matter how many times I tell myself things will go back to the way they were and everything will be fine. I know it will never happen.

Just one foot wrong And I'm gonna fall Somebody gets it All the lights are on But I'm in the dark Who's gonna find me Who's gonna find me Just one foot wrong You'll have to love me When I'm gone.

The most I can look forward to is making a new path. Stick with the friends I know I can trust, but at the same time, never forget my old ones. Because even though they hurt me, if I remember them, I'll know how good I have it now. Rather than friends who pretend to be there and then go and stab me in the back again and again and again. I know I have friends who are GENUINELY there for me and I'm there for them.

Have to love me when I'm gone When I'm gone Have to love me when I'm gone You'll have to love me when I'm gone

I don't want to live i the past anymore. I want to live in the present. That is what I'm going to do.

until next time xoxo Ash